Sunday yarning
By Siv Parker
I was reminded this morning that I had plans to gather together a Twitter conversation I had recently and post it to my blog.
Two more #FF recs are people who do long-form twitter incredibly well: Aboriginal Australian writer @SivParker and PhD-er @ottomanscribe.
— WeAreAus/ Daniel (@WeAreAustralia) September 18, 2015
The thing about writing most of the time, is you can sit down to do some work on a summer's day and then next thing you know, it's August and you can't remember the last time you went looking for an online conversation. So I decided to blow some cobwebs out of my
small corner of Twitter, after having just returned from my annual writers excursion to Melbourne.  |
| Melbourne |
*
This year’s Melbourne trip revolved around two main events – an invitation to read at the Melbourne Writer’s Festival and another invitation to present a workshop at the First Nations of Australia Writers Network’s biennial national conference.
Looking forward to presenting 'Creative Blogging' on Day 2 of @FNAWN_ Annual Workshop at the Wheeler Centre. #MWF15 pic.twitter.com/JwV2uwNuqI
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) August 29, 2015
See us at The Morning Read: Indigenous Australians #MWF15
10am Friday 28 August, Festival Club http://t.co/xUbI2J0PZY pic.twitter.com/M7GZT7yLpa
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) August 22, 2015
A stranger to the city, my romantic entanglement with Melbourne began thirty years ago when I read ‘Monkey Grip’.
In the weeks preceding my trip, I packed for Melbourne by following an online trail to a video interview with the author of 'Monkey Grip', Helen Garner. It was as if I had been walking through a cool forest, dark from a thick canopy above, that suddenly opened up into a meadow, warmed by the sun and cooled by a breeze that ruffled the wild flowers.
And it occurred to me later: have I started too late as a writer, to write what one day I might live to regret? Will I be so in love with my voice that I blurt out things I shouldn’t? Will I even live long enough to regret it, or leave a body of work that was underdone, raw, rotting, putrid?
This is how it is, the fear. Just when you think you are getting somewhere, the creeping doubt floats to the surface. The constant reminder, that we must never step outside the tiny world Aboriginal women are expected to expire within.
Amongst all my Melbourne conversations, one question from another black writer, put to me about my writing, stood out….’do you ever feel scared?’
No one has ever asked me that before, but I could answer without hesitation, ‘every time, but I do it anyway’.
***
A sunny, windy day has become earthy, spring rain on my tin roof. Cricketers down the lane have pulled up stumps. The birds dodge raindrops.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
Birds take shelter as the rain becomes torrential, sheets of water hit the road and snake across it. Every drop is fresh, clean, free water.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
Wet crow on the branch, drying it's feathers. I just know it is going to have a lot to say. Yes, I'm angry too, bird.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
the lived experience of exclusion...will ultimately spark the change. It's the stories that will allow us to make the next step forward.#npc
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Those who don't live it, don't know what poverty does to a person. It's not just material things they lack.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula @mandymcn I get asked to volunteer to explain how I overcome the disadvantage of being Indigenous. I say, you mean 'getting paid'?
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula @mandymcn There is a tipping point, between 'exposure' and 'making a living'. I need to set it, not those who don't want to pay.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula We aren't one Aboriginal womens' group. The disparity between Melbourne or Sydney, and the Kimberleys is more than a country mile.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula @mandymcn Oh, it's a funny old world. What vexes me lately is people with privilege howling about poverty porn. They need to shhh.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Willingness of the privileged to erase the lived exp of other POC by citing 'poverty porn in defence of their dignity' is obscene.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula They get shouted down by some raggedy argument that the key to our salvation is our dignity. No, it's in not being shouted down.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Privilege is fragile when dispossession is in the blood. The unspoken agenda infects every debate and perplexes the onlookers.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula My friend took me to a picnic once. I soon realised it was a charity lunch but all the food was delicious, the people were kind.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula I was embarrassed because I had money but my friend wanted to give me something, food was his gift. Reminded me of the old ways.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula He was an Aboriginal man who was frequently homeless and I was in a new city. He was showing me how to survive, like the old ways.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula I'd just started volunteering at a radiostation, as his co-host. He said, hey, I know where we can get a free lunch. His kindness.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Goes to Q: why can't we rise above it? How long does it take before one lives with both feet in prosperity and not one in poverty?
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula People assume 'someone' will help those in need just as they reassure themselves that 'Aboriginal people get billions in funding'.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula We don't have a shared language so at various times key messages have aided the usurpers and betrayed the vanquished.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Years ago, they pooled their paltry possessions so Mum had a suit, a port, a handbag, shoes and ticket money. She was their hope.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula These days, some'd argue that she had abandoned them for her own personal gain and her freedom was at their cost. Blood poisoning.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula In my scriptwriting group, we discuss cliches that character's bad behaviour comes from childhood trauma. But what else can it be?
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula I haven't met the person who has all the answers yet. I've been all over this land, a lot of stories yet to be told.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Each generation further away from their lands, intensifies the unresolved trauma. Wealth will never fill that void.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Australia Council figures, 47% of Indigenous people no longer have ongoing connection to their land. Devastating consequences.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula I've never understood why drug dealers are never considered 'sell outs' when they cause so much damage to every family they touch.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula People who are bullies and use threats and intimidation because they don't know how to mediate, are never said to have sold out.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula I don't use the expression 'sell out' bcos it makes no sense. Yes, we are tolerant of the sick and tired, but we need consistency.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula But what is a 'sellout'? We never had that word/falsity until people started to buckle/sicken under intergenerational trauma.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula I hear 'sell out' I think drug addict or undisclosed perpetrator of violence, or apologist for destructive behaviours. Every time.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula It's a scuffle on the side of the big game. I ignore it, same as the cheerleaders with superficial mantras for self determination.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula And how to dull the pain of being surrounded by drug addicts?
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula I've got as much chance of determining their behaviour as they have of telling me what to write. So I leave them to it.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula This greater good we hear of, is a false prophecy. Just as 'solidarity' is the watery soup that 'community and family' used to be.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula I think people know more than they acknowledge, out of self preservation. Eg segregation. Very few admit to benefiting from that.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula There are economic considerations at play here. And just how successful was their lineage when they had so many free advantages?
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Are they from hard working, resourceful stock, or did they ride on the back of human beings who were never adequately compensated?
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula The thing is, with the right narrative/effective advocacy, small changes could have huge rewards, but no trust in the messengers.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula In the end as it was long time ago, the solution lies in the community. But that's disintegrating under the violence and the hate.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula There is a sanctioned set of ideas, depending on who you associate with. I walk alone so I get it from all quarters. lol Good go!
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula At the base of every harsh treatment of others is fear, if you ask me. they fear them. Popular culture sure hates the darkskinned.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Attacks on peoples integrity are designed to muddy the pool. The objective is 'we really don't know what Indigenous people want.'
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Our demographics are blowing out due to life expectancy. Imagine a society dominated by decisions of teenagers and young people.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula :) When i went to the free lunch, the thing that I remember is that people loved the yarns, the connectivity meant more than food.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula I see now we've corrupted our idea of community to a state of atrophy, with the violence born from fear of challenges to identity.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@iMusing @Fluffula In short, solidarity or any calls to collective action are only ever for the benefit of those who rattle their tin cup.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@iMusing @Fluffula Social media is the best thing that ever happened for us. Early take-up are fringe dwellers. Why crawl when we can walk?
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula @iMusing We organise differently to black Americans tho their 1960s(!) writings resonate. Native Americans 'invisible' in the US.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula @iMusing My philosophy is 'dont limit our presence to thin lanes that homogenise us AND don't exist to be tea to someone's milk'.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula @iMusing And the alarming emergence of unqualified smash and grab advocates who flood SM with triggers for personal gain/status.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula It has gotten to the point that if they're not called out, we're all complicit. But enough's enough. 'Get a job or get qualified'.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Taking advantage of the goodwill towards Indigenous people to fund dubious initiatives that have consistently failed to deliver.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula No authority, no integrity, no responsibility and eventually no credibility. Grifters perpetuating violent spaces to preside over.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula If a person needs to conjure up violence and abuse to deliver their argument they might as well pack up and go home. #putaforkinit
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Old school activism never denounced #VAW. People still mistyeyed over firebrands, beats me how women reconcile that with feminism.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Black feminists claim there's a blindspot but when some ignore attacks on women, what kind of feminist-lite do they subscribe to?
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Violence has been normalised. I try to describe it in my book because too many won't survive it while others dabble in politics.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Makes me wonder what abusive relationships they've been involved in. Regardless, I'm simply not letting them slide by anymore.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Goes back to succumbing to pressure to prove identity - if you don't have the words of authenticity, steal someone else's to use.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Recent studies: battered women exp brain injuries that never mend. I've seen it but didn't realise why their personality changed.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@JmarrMarr @Fluffula Yes reports of high psychological distress have blownout. Self-harm diminishes wellbeing, toxins poison their children.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula There is something very ominous abut men/women who don't prioritise VAW as being just as critical as political representation etc.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula @JmarrMarr But poison gets into the blood of children before they are born, and then via beast milk and sweat. Inherited trauma.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula People will use VAW providing they are benefiting, and it is appealing from some women to remove the 'competition' of other women.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula A problem is that 47% no longer have connections to country so the 53% who retained it - and say so - are a threat to identities.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula I am in the 53%. I won't minimise my cultural knowledge because others perceive it as a threat to how they identify themselves.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula I've worked in cultural heritage most of my life. Never occurred to me that there'd be some who wanted to hegonomise our culture.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Where I come from we never challenge anyone on their identity regardless of their background. But we won't water ours down either.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula There is absolutely no chance that I will not assert what culture we have retained in every representation I make. It's my right.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula And that explains the dilemma. You understand what that does to someone without connections/compensation. And how they respond?
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula And it risks rise to a suggestion -never far away- that without connections, culture etc a person is not an authentic Aboriginal.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Lived in a town, drug dealers often had 2-3 wives because they could afford it, each one younger than the last. Poverty's a curse.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula No, was widely accepted as the only solution to poverty. Dealers' wives setup in separate houses. Older white men also an option.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula It was like being in the dark ages, no actually, in a world I didn't know existed. But rural NSW has unseen, unchecked poverty.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Well, drugs lead to dysfunctional families that reduce the options for the household and young girls look for their own safe home.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula My hometown isn't ruled by drugs so they still mostly have girl meets boy. We've remained apart from most social dysfunction.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Yes, very few options coupled with the grinding down of ambition and motivation by naysayers about education and employment.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Functioning drug addicts in influential positions cant advocate for drug-free because they risk exposure as a user by other users.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Inhuman. Oh I like a red wine with dinner so I advocate for men to beat their women to death with a flagon in a towncamp. Get out.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Education isn't a threat to culture. The peculiar glee at failed educn strategies is activists rejoicing at our peoples' expense.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula The creeping accusations of 'assimilation' was always going to end badly. People rarely know what it means. Pointless discussion.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula What anyone does is up to them. Can be a difficult journey but even when I dont agree with their politics, I don't challenge them.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
@Fluffula Seen enough 'Who Do You Think You Are' to see that discovering yr past can be a very painful exp even without genocidal practices.
— Siv Parker (@SivParker) September 5, 2015
Thanks to @Fluffula for the yarn!
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